First things first - I’m FINALLY doing this Gwen!!

Thanks Gwen - I said I would do it, and I am ... finally (when I have some alone time at the computer and am not at work).
So, my friend Gwen honored me with an award  :)

The blog award rules:
1. List 6 things about yourself

and

2. Pass this award on to 6 other bloggers

Six things about Shannon:

1)  This pregnancy is pretty different than my last two.  First, I had a lot of morning sickness this time - I had a little with Zachary but it didn't last too long, and almost none with Philip (I was 10 weeks when I found out with him - I did think I'd had a stomach bug that probably was morning sickness around 7 or 8 weeks, but it didn't last long).  Second, the fatigue and exhaustion has been MUCH greater.  I'm sure being 10 years older than the first time I did this (and more than 8 years older than the second) has a LOT to do with that.  Also, I'm a worrier this time.  I never worried about things last time.  It would just work out and everything would be perfect.  I guess I'm now tainted by the memory of my miscarriage and now KNOW the realization that it may not work out without problems.  I am starting to get better now that I've reached the 12 week mark, but I still worry.

2)  I have this image of being the perfect person - and I fail significantly.  I want to work all day (well, I have to), then come home and keep a perfectly organized house with kids who happily sit and do homework and study without being asked while I cook fun and healthy meals, and then clean the little bit of mess made from dinner.  This all should be in a perfectly organized and spotless house.  I am no where CLOSE to that.  I struggle to keep up with the basic things and just want to sleep.  Maybe I'm feeling worse about this now because I have done VERY VERY little the last 2-1/2 months.

3)  I love traveling to other countries and experiencing different cultures.  I fear that I won't get to do it again.  And I don't want to do it again without Chris.  He's only been to Mexico and Canada.  I want him to experience another country with me.  He'd love Amsterdam - I want to take him there.  And I think he'd really like Italy.  He'd probably really like Athens too.  Then, I feel a bit selfish because I want to go to some of the places I've never been.  The reality is that it isn't likely we'll ever do get to go on an international trip.  Especially since we are starting over again with a new baby at this point.  Too many other priorities. 

4)  I feel bad about Zachary's Disney trip.  I had promised him that I would go with him on his 4th grade class trip to Disney.  But, it is in mid-April.  I'll be delivering a baby in mid-April (will have a c-section around 2 weeks before my due date).  :)  So that isn't exactly a reality anymore.  Parents don't have to go.  But to be honest, I'm a bit worried about sending him without us.  Though at 13 my parents sent me to Africa/Greece/Amsterdam without them.  Early 80's was a different time though.  I don't know.  I guess I'm being protective.  Yet, I don't want him to miss out (it is a week of seminars and educational classes - behind the scenes science/math etc -- and of course the whole regular Disney experience too!).

5)  I don't like the leave the house without make-up.  Ever.  Though in the last 2 months, I've done it A LOT.  I'm tired.  And I was feeling REALLY bad in the mornings.  I'd rather sleep late and lay in bed.

6)  I LOVE to cook and experiment with many different cuisines.  Though I bet most of you knew that.  It has been a while since I cooked something new and took pictures though.   
Now ... how many people did Gwen leave for me to tag?

(Bonnie - I was going to tag you - but you BEAT ME TO IT!! Can I still tag Bonnie and have it count? ;)
1) Rae
2) Kimmie
3) Paula (M)
4) Lawanda
5) Lane
6) Tania

Catching up on my life

Some of you know what's been going on and some don't.  I've really neglected my blog for a while - sorry!  Like I said, some of you know what's up, and will understand.

 

So ... now that it is basically no longer a secret - I'm pregnant again.  I am very excited, yet I've been a bit trepidatious.  This was planned - and was planned after my miscarriage in January.  That unexpected event showed us how much we want another baby.  So, I finally got pregnant again.  But, the fear of another miscarriage is always in the back of my mind.

I saw my doctor at 6 weeks and an ultrasound showed everything was fine.  Another ultrasound 1-1/2 weeks later showed the same.  At that point, I'm starting to feel better - I'm approaching the end of the "danger zone" where the threat of another miscarriage is higher.  So I started to tell a few people.  Still not broadcasting, but sharing the news a bit.

I had a scheduled tradeshow in Anaheim, California.  I discussed it with my doctor and it seemed fine.  I worked tradeshows through both pregnancies without a problem. 

Last Monday, at the tradeshow, I started bleeding.  And freaking out - naturally.  Especially given what happened with the last pregnancy.  After a phone call to my doctor early Tuesday morning, I took a cab to the nearest ER/hospital.  Most of the day was spent in the ER.  I felt so alone.  I was alone.  In a city far away from home.  Far away from familiy.  I tried to hold it together, but I was really scared.  And my poor co-worker (who was still basically in training) was stuck at the convention center, working alone.  I was worried about her.

By the time I left there, I felt better.  I had suffered a "threatened miscarriage" (any bleeding during pregnancy is called that), but the ultrasound showed that all was well.  I was ordered to not return to the convention center, but to rest in bed that day, to fly home the next day, and spend the rest of the week in bed.  I could not WAIT to get home.  I was emotionally exhausted. 

So, I left my hotel at 6:30 Wednesday morning and arrived home around 5:00 pm - and I spent the next 4 days doing almost NOTHING.  Sure, my house shows that I did almost nothing.  It is a wreck.  I did a few loads of laundry (the machine does the work and I can fold while in bed).  We had lots of leftovers and take-out. 

So, this week, I'm playing catch up.  Yet  - I am still feeling absolutely and utterly EXHAUSTED.  I have for most of this pregnancy (and it's only been 9 weeks - I still have 30 more weeks to go!!!)  And sick!  I'm so nauseated.  I hate that.  I constantly have this "I'm about to throw up" feeling, no food sounds good, I'm afraid to eat, but if I don't I feel worse.  I've got massive heart burn.  Chris keeps telling me "embrace it, you wanted a baby, you wanted this, embrace it and don't complain".   He is lucky I didn't hit him in the head with a lamp. 

The kids are excited.  They are telling everyone they "can trust to keep a secret".  But really - it's no longer a secret.  I'm feeling better about it every day.  And more confident.